Results Statement: By following the suggestions below, you will ensure the most amicable split possible when dismissing families from the gym.

Do: 

  • Remain calm and carefully think through the situation.
  • Ask questions to ensure you understand the full situation.
  • Have grace for what someone may be going through.
  • Understand you cannot change inhabitable nature with a single conversation.
  • Have any official dismissal discussions in person.
  • Have a refund check ready at the meeting.
  • Have a second person in the room with you.
  • Ask if the family’s circumstances still allow them to remain on the team. (This works especially well when you are considering dismissal due to absences. Often, the parents will admit there is a limiting factor or the child no longer wishes to be on the team and a dismissal won’t be necessary.)
  • Follow through with anything you’ve told the family you would do at the meeting (ie: Mailing a refund check, Taking their credit card off file, etc.)
  • Remain professional with your language.
  • Try to meet with families when the rest of the gym and lobby are vacation (ie: Before or after classes or practices.)
  • Tell the parent you’ll need to meet with them prior to the child’s next practice.
  • Notify the team coach of the situation in a professional manner so they can prepare for potential outcomes.

Don’t: 

  • Allow emotions to interfere with logic.
  • Assume anything. Often parents or athletes are going through something completely unrelated to the gym and taking things out with you or your staff.
  • Feel like you need to list a record of wrongs.
  • Dismiss a family via email or over the phone.
  • Walk into the meeting expecting it to end a particular way.
  • Engage in arguing, elevated voices or condemning actions.
  • Burn a bridge. You never know what someone is going through or what is causing their actions. Sometimes we find out there was a major factor in their lives resulting in a particular behavior. When that factor changes and time passes, you may be willing to extend grace again.
  • Say anything you wouldn’t want recorded or repeated.
  • Have a meeting with a parent while their child is in a class or at practice. The last thing you want is for someone to make a scene and pull their child in the middle of the practice.

 

The reality is, athlete or family dismissal isn’t entirely systemizable. Every situation is very different and dependent on the set of circumstances. There are a few things leading up to that discussion that can be systemized:

  1. When there is a violation of policy or conflict of core values, have an initial meeting with the parent and/or athlete and parent. Avoid meeting with the athlete only if this is considered a major violation.
  2. Be clear on the expectations and ask the family if they have any questions about the expectations. Let them know what you’ll need to see moving forward.
  3. Once you determine a dismissal to be the only or best course of action, take the following steps:
    1. Call or email the parent letting them know you’ll need to have an in-person meeting with yourself and (one other staff member – be clear who it is) prior to the child’s next practice. Often, parents will avoid this and say they’re not available. In this situation, let them know the child will need to miss the next practice then as the meeting must occur before the child can return. 99% of the time, the parent will readjust a schedule to meet.
    2. Select a meeting day and time when there is no one else in the gym in the event that the situation were to escalate. We don’t want other parents involved or present.
  4. Have the parent sit at a table. Have a folder in front of you with the following:
    1. The dates documented of any previous meetings you have had.
    2. A refund check for any unused services or fees.
  5. This should not be automatically given to the parent.
  6. As the parent questions to find out what is going on. The following questions work well:
    1. How are you feeling about the season so far?
    2. We recently spoke about <topic>. How do you feel that is going?
    3. At this time, it appears you may not be happy here at <your gym>. Can you tell us about that?
  7. It’s important to make this about something bigger than the action itself. “Life is short. We want you to be happy, and it appears you’re just not happy when you’re here at <your gym>. Is that the case?”
  8. The goal of these meetings would be to end on the same page. Parents who behave a certain way are often wanting to quit, but are either avoiding conflict or believe leaving the gym isn’t an option. By giving the parents an opportunity to exit gracefully (regardless of the situation), you can often end on the same page.
  9. At the end of the conversation, “We wish you the best of luck in the future. We will miss <athlete> very much.”

** This is not an inclusive system of how every conversation can or should go. The #1 thing is to keep yourself calm. Remember, if the initial conversation didn’t change action, then you 1) weren’t clear or 2) can’t change the behavior. Always give someone the benefit of the doubt and allow them to exit gracefully. Don’t feel like you have to be right or tell them all the ways they violated your policies. Maintain professionalism and stay calm.