BOUNDARIES

• Boundaries are essential to healthy relationships and healthy life
• Setting and Sustaining boundaries is a skill. It is learned and modified throughout our lives. 
• Knowing and understanding your limits means that you have healthy boundaries

How do you set Boundaries?

Tips on building and maintaining boundaries:

1. Name your limits – you can’t set a boundary unless you know where you stand. Identify your physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and cultural limits. Think about what you can tolerate and accept what makes you feel uncomfortable. EX: We have all seen a video of a person at the gym who piles on weight without respecting their physical boundaries and then sure enough the bar crashes on their chest and they are stuck. Additionally, consider your own personal past and present.
2. Tune into your feelings – If you have set a limit then you should feel content within that limit. If or some reason you find yourself feeling discomfort, anxious, anger or resentment, it likely means that you are being pushed outside of your comfort zone. Pay attention to the way you feel. 
3. Be direct and Assertive– Knowing what your limits are you have to be direct in communicating them. Be strong. Be firm. Vocalize where you stand and that you will stay where you are comfortable. Some people will not feel comfortable with the topic we are discussing today, be direct and say, “I am not comfortable talking about this.” Understand that you have created a boundary but also, follow through with it. People aren’t mind readers, in a respectful manner state your boundary. 
4. Give yourself permission – Fear, guilt and self-doubt are BIG pitfalls when it comes to boundaries. People often cave because they are feeling guilty or are afraid how the other person will react. It is okay to set a boundary. 
5. Practice Self Awareness – Boundaries are all about respecting your feelings. If you notice yourself caving or feeling “forced” into having conversations that you don’t want, ask yourself what has changed, why am I doing this, why did I have that conversation. Reflect on how you are feeling and regain control. 

• • It is important to maintain your boundaries for your own health and wellness

• Your health is your number one priority, if you are not okay you cannot help others. 

 PROCEDURES

CONFIDENTIALITY!!!!! – DO NOT SPREAD PEOPLE BUSINESS AROUND THE GYM

1. Accept Disclosure

• All disclosure is received the same 
• Disclosure is received judgement free
• Connect with your boundaries – am I willing and capable of talking about this? If you choose to proceed, keep checking in with your boundaries, if at any time they change then respect that

1. Initial communication 

• “check in” with person 
•  if needed engage in an initial communication with the “client,” practise some of the communication techniques that we will discuss later.
• Connect with your boundaries
• ALL communications MUST be documented. 

• NO SNAP CHAT CONVERSATIONS. 
• Declaration of safety will be stated so there should be no issue. Declaration of Safety is some form of telling the person that for their protection and yours, this conversation is private but might need to be reviewed by a superior. 

1. Report disclosure and all communication to Riana

• Save conversations
• Send them via email, screen shot, hard copy or direct communication to Riana
• Riana will review and decide on a course of action
• Riana and you will have a “check in” – you will connect with your boundaries and Riana will offer alternative supports for you as well as the person if needed

1. If it is decided that you are the best person to maintain communication with the person, then review suicide awareness information, practice the talking points, connect with your boundaries, report each conversation with Riana

RISK FACTORS

Be aware of individual risk factors 
While suicide cannot always be prevented, an understanding of factors that may increase risk is helpful. The following factors can increase an individual’s risk of suicide: 

• Family history of suicide
• Family history of child maltreatment
• Previous suicide attempt(s)
• History of mental disorders, particularly clinical depression
• History of alcohol and substance abuse
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Impulsive or aggressive tendencies
• Cultural and religious beliefs (e.g., belief that suicide is noble resolution of a personal dilemma)
• Local epidemics of suicide
• Isolation, a feeling of being cut off from other people
• Barriers to accessing mental health treatment
• Loss (relational, social, work, or financial)
• Physical illness
• Easy access to lethal methods
• Unwillingness to seek help because of the stigma attached to mental health and substance abuse disorders or to suicidal thoughts

Warning Signs                                                                                                                                               Do you suspect someone is at risk of suicide? Here are some indications that someone may be suffering.

• Talking about suicide or having a plan for suicide
• Statements of being hopeless or worthless, being a bad person, not accepting praise
• Loss of interest in something they cared about
• Always bored or tired
• Change in personality or behaviour
• Withdrawing from group
• Trouble concentrating
• Impulsive behaviours 
• Inexplicably happy after a bout of concerning behaviour

WHAT TO SAY/DO

1. Ensure Privacy – make sure you and the person are engaging in a private conversation. Confidentiality is a must, however a declaration of safety is equally important
2. Express concern – using non-judgemental terms show that you are concerned for the person. 

• “I’ve noticed you are a little sluggish today, is everything okay?” NOT “What is wrong with you, get moving!” 
• “You haven’t been yourself lately and it seems like something is bothering you”
• “Are you ok?” or “What’s the matter?”
• If the person discloses suicidal thought then respond in the same manner, “It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed, I’m here for you.” NOT “Well we all have stuff going on, so you’ll have to get over it.”
• “When did you begin feeling like this?”
• Did something happen to make you feel like this?”

1. Listen – in a non-judgemental and sensitive manner. Avoid criticizing or judging as it can deter someone from further communication. It may be difficult for the person to open up especially if recent trauma has occurred. 

• “I’m here to listen and help in any way that I can”
• “How did that/does that make you feel?”
•  “I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.”

1. Empathize – try to understand their point of view by asking questions and clarifying your understanding of the problem. You can easily do this by repeating the essence of what they have said by using:

• Content – “It sounds like your personal life is getting in the way of your performance.”
• Feelings – “and it seems like you are feeling overwhelmed and confused on what to do.”
• “I’m sorry to hear that you are dealing with all of that.”
• “That must be hard.”
• “I would feel the same way.”

1. Normalize – giving the person hope that things will get better can de-escalate the situation. Help them realize that they have options – offer resources such as family and friends. But remember you are not there to solve the problem! 

• “Have you thought about getting help?”
• “Have you talked to other people about the way that you feel?”
• “Is there anything I can do for you today?”
• “Thank you for talking to me about this”